What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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