I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
