Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
