Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
