I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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