Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I can text with my tongue
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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