i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
