did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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