We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
