Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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