I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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