it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
