If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
