dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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