I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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