Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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