I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
