If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize