It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
