either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
please come you make the beer taste better
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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