Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i will never coherently bang her
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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