everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
