he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
