I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
