Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
