ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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