I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
