Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Houston, we have a blender
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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