Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
