Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't deserve a penis
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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