her facebook's as public as her vagina
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
