I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
