Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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