just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
