i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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