Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
