She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize