PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
