Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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