What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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