I smell stomach acid.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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