You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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