Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
