how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
