My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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