This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
either way he was missing a nipple.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
don't judge my taste in strippers
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
