Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
