Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
