I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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