Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
