with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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