Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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