Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
