i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize