Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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