Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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