It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize