Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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