The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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