But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You are a genius and a whore.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
