Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
