Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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