separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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