how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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