Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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